Bad History

Columbus liked to wear giant plumed hats,
and was fond of a woman he later sold for beads.

The Civil War started sometime in an early morning rain,
and continues to this day.

Nietzsche said that all that glistens is gold.
Chaucer told tales of lovers without conscience.

The houses in heaven have several rooms.
God ran off Lucifer because of my pride.

I wrote a bad check to buy the ring
and later, she sold it to pay for the U-Haul.

The railway opened the country,
the automobile dispersed the populace.

The television was invented in the 1930s,
and then later thrown down the stairs

of the Sunflower apartment building
on a day that looked like rain

but when no rain came.

Pfefferle, W.T. “Bad History,” Virginia Quarterly Review 82:4 (Fall 2006): 209.